Battling the Scale

The scale has always been my archnemesis. My kryptonite, if you will. I depend on the scale to tell me if I am thin enough. The only problem is that the numbers are never low enough. I remember when I was losing weight a couple years ago. I had a goal weight. One that seemed reasonable enough when I set it. However, when I reached my goal weight I realized it was not enough. So I decided to lose just five more pounds. And then I decided on five more . . . and so on. I stepped on that damn scale like clockwork every Sunday morning, after using the bathroom and after my morning exercise routine. I'm embarrassed to say now that it held me hostage. The weeks that the numbers went down, I was giddy with power. It was an amazing sense of control. The weeks that the scale stayed exactly where it was filled me with a sense of failure. I would immediately think of all the ways I could further restrict my calories that week or think of all the extra ways I could fit exercise into my day. I was obsessed with it.

I have decided to escape from my battle with the scale. No longer will I depend on those damn numbers to tell me whether I'm thin or fat. I don't want to know what I weigh ever again. Maybe this sounds drastic to some of you reading this right now. To me, it sounds like a necessary step. My own personal scale was thrown away months ago. However, Boy Wonder still had a scale. So with his permission, I decided on another drastic move. What does one do to their worst enemy? They kill it. So I took a hammer and pretty much destroyed the scale. At least, I destroyed it as much as I could. Surprisingly, those things are rather sturdy. But there was something very satisfying about swinging a hammer and destroying the thing that has kept me hostage for years. I loved it. It's gone now. Thank goodness. Boy Wonder took pictures of the whole thing. Maybe I'll post them at a later time.

The whole time I was doing it, I could hear Ed's voice in my ear. He was telling me that I would never know I was thin now. How can I know when I've reached my goal if I don't know what my number is at? Well I know what Ed's goal number is and I'm done trying to reach it. Done, done, done.