It's been too long . . . .

I haven't blogged or journaled about this in over a year and a half. That may be the problem. I get less vigilant and think I am fine, so I stop taking measures to prevent bingeing episodes in the future. The past couple of months have not been good ones. The last few weeks, especially. I have found myself bingeing more and more. This week alone, I have eaten so much food. I know what my trigger was this week. My husband was out of town and I am not good alone. Some trips, I am fine and others, not so much. I have come to realize that food is like alcohol to me. I can't stop at a small order of fries or one slice of pizza. (Don't even get me started on pizza . . . MAJOR trigger food. I want to overeat just thinking about it). But now my husband is back and I still just want to eat. I'm doing things that make me more likely to engage in bingeing behaviors. I'm not eating breakfast, I'm not planning my meals, and I'm not working out. All of those factors lead to hunger and guilt and lots of desires to eat. I seem to have lost my will to talk myself out of a binge lately. I have to start being more vigilant about my food. It really is like being an alcoholic. I have to know my triggers and know what situations and decisions make me more likely to binge. Maybe going back to blogging will help. Right now, I am just eating my emotions.